A brand new toy
by superwholockian22
Summary: A modern day AU, but I kept the races (elves, dwarves, dragons, hobbits, etc.) Bilbo Baggins lives a peaceful life, alone in his house, until a series of strange visitors comes along. He disregards the events and goes to bed, only to be kidnapped, bartered over and eventually sold to a dwarf.
1. Chapter 1

Bilbo sat comfortably in his armchair with a book, watching the candlelight flicker over the pages. He put down the book with a sigh, and looked down at the old piece of furniture fondly. When he was a child, this old chair had held both him and his mother, and on cold nights he would climb up and listen to her as she read him stories of great adventures by knights and warriors. He'd once dreamed of going on such journeys when he was grown, but as time passed that urge left him, and he was quite content to spend his days in Bag End, eating and tending to his gardens. Besides, all the great tales of middle earth were of men and elves, sometimes dwarves but never a hobbit, and it was apparent that no adventure was going to seek him out if it could get a elf or dwarf or even a man. The rattling of the door stirred Bilbo out of his reminiscence, and he got up reluctantly and walked over to the door.

"Yes, yes," he pleaded, hoping whoever it was would stop his persistent knocking before they busted his door. He'd just had it painted you know. Bilbo opened the door warily, to see a dwarf in a black jacket looming over the small entryway. An alarmingly large scar ran across his eyebrow, and part of his ear seemed to be - Bilbo swallowed- bitten off.

"Is this the residence of mister Bilbo Haggens?" The dwarf said, his voice a bit too loud in the still night air.

"No, sorry this is Bilbo Baggins' home maybe try next door," the hobbit mumbled, trying to close the door. Unfortunately the dwarf was faster than him, and before the latch clicked he grabbed the door with a firm grip and pushed it open.

"Bilbo Baggins, thats what I said." With that, the dwarf stepped into the house, and as he walked towards the living room, the firelight illuminated what the night had kept from sight. Bilbo could see that even though his suit was high end, the dwarf's hair was unkempt. Then again, he had more beard than hair, and his scalp was covered in runic tattoos. This was ridiculous. Bilbo stepped out in front of the dwarf.

"Look, not that I don't enjoy visitors, but what pray tell are you here for?" That got him a questioning look, and the dwarf sidestepped him and kept walking, his boots leaving nasty prints all over Bilbo's polished floors.

"I was told by Dr. Gandalf that i was to ...investigate you."

"Sorry who?"

"Gandalf? Tall, thin old man."

Bilbo thought back to that morning, out enjoying the sunshine and some pipeweed when a man walked up to him and took up a conversation. Nothing in particular, what's your name, nice to meet you, you live here? In fact, Bilbo scarcely remembered anything about him, although he did have on a rather nice grey suit.  
"I did meet a man with that description today but we hardly shared a few words," Bilbo said. At any rate, he thought, it was hardly a conversation, where does he get off sending people to my house?

"Well, he told me to interview you." The dwarf stated, obviously becoming impatient with all Bilbo's questions.

"Interview me why? Look, it's been lovely having you, but-"

"If you don't pass the reason won't matter, so let's get on with it, shall we?" Bilbo stared at him, trying to work out a way to get the dwarf out of his house without angering him, but seeing no such course of action, the hobbit chose the safer route.

"A few questions, and then I'd like to get on with dinner."

"Of course, alright first of relatives?" The dwarf asked.

"Relatives?"

"Yes, relatives. Do you have them, where are they, do you speak to them often?" Bilbo was a little miffed that the dwarf was getting so impatient. Here he was, minding his own business, and this confounded creature had ruined the peace of his evening.

"Well, my parents passed on, I have no siblings and I've got relatives, but they're distant, and horrid besides." The dwarf looked up at that, smiling a bit.

"Ok, er... job?"

"In no need of one at the moment."

"In a relationship?"

"No actually a confirmed bachelor."

"Alright, last question. How would you describe your personality"

"I LIKE TO BE LEFT ALONE." Bilbo said, a bit taken aback at the tone of his own voice. Well, to be fair it had been a rather interesting evening, and hobbits are not well equipped to deal with interesting. He needed a cup of tea. After rolling his eyes, the dwarf muttered a hasty goodbye and strode out the door, leaving it open in his hurry. Bilbo scrambled over to the door, and yelled out at the figure. "You're leaving? Well fine then, did I pass?" He stood at the door for a while, but no answer came, and closing himself off from the chill night breeze, he went back to his book. Well, he thought as he sat down, that was an uncomfortable ordeal. Losing himself in the story, he thought no more about it, and by the time he went to bed, a cup of chamomile in hand, he had put the events of the day far back in his mind.

Kili leaned down to pick a flower, a pretty purple bud from a hobbit's perfectly maintained garden.

"Kili!" Came Dwalin's harsh whisper, "cut it out, we're here on business!" The young dwarf looked down at the flower, murmuring a half hearted apology. His brother's hand rested on his shoulder a moment in consolation, and Fili nodded at him sympathetically. A smile played across Kili's lips, and he offered the daisy to his brother. Fili took it gently, and when Kili had turned around he began plucking off the petals one by one, mumbling something under his breath. A few moments later, Dwalin stopped them in front of a tiny gate. "This is it, come on." Fili and Kili followed him up a tiny path and waited patiently as he unlocked the door. This was really just an easy source of money for them, seeing as they weren't there for anything important, just the legwork. They just helped transport the merchandise. Following Dwalin through the darkened house, the brothers made their way to a bedroom, eyes tracing the barely noticeable shape under the covers. Dwalin crouched over the edge of the bed, holding a rag, which he pressed over the mouth and nose of the hobbit. The thing made a few feeble attempts at escape, but he'd already breathed in too much, and he stopped fighting as the dwarves lifted him into a bag, dazed but still conscious. Dwalin marched out, leaving the hobbit to Fili and Kili, who each grabbed an end and stumbled out the door, running into a chest on the way out.

"Hey Fili, do you know this one's name?" asked Kili. His brother thought a moment and looked up.

"I don't think I do, erm..." he paused to shut the door. "Dwalin, what's its name?" Dwalin turned, obviously bothered by the younger dwarves' curiosity.

"I don't know, Bilbo Haggins or something, now come on." A muffled shout came from the bag.

"Brragnns!"

"Oh, fine then," Dwalin chuckled, "Baggins."

"Wait wait wait, Baggins?" snickered Kili. His brother looked at him incredulously.

"You deaf? Baggins." Fili said jokingly, and Kili beamed.

"So we've got a Bagg-ins," he paused for effect. "In a bag!" The brothers exploded in raucous laughter, and Dwalin turned on a heel.

"Would you two idiots be quiet?" He raised a fist in warning, and they stopped laughing.  
The rest of the walk was silent, the quiet punctuated only by a few moans of protest from the creature in the bag. Fili and Kili stopped next to the cemi and handed the bag off to Dwalin, waiting for their pay.

The truck rattled its way over the rough back roads, and the clanging of metal echoed in the cargo. The noise stirred Bilbo, his brain still too fogged to understand his situation. Across from him, an elf sat staring, and Bilbo tried to ask what was going on, but recoiled at the sensation of dirty fabric on his tongue. He squinted, and through the darkness he saw a gag tied tightly around the elf's face, and chains holding his thin wrists to the inside of the cemi. Bilbo gave an experimental pull, and found that his wrists were both restrained. Turning his head, the hobbit saw several elves and a few humans chained down, and a dwarf sitting on a box with a gun, eying the prisoners. Now that his head felt a bit lighter, Bilbo remembered a few things. He'd been put in a bag, thrown about and then bartered over. The implications of these memories did not bode well, and Bilbo began to struggle, to squirm his way out. From the end of the truck, the hobbit heard a heavy sigh, and the dwarf stood, grabbing a small bag and walked towards Bilbo. He put the bag over Bilbo's head and clomped back to his seat, muttering angrily about that nuisance of a hobbit.

The dwarf pulled the bag off of Bilbo's head, plunging his world back into the light. It had been three days, and the hobbit had almost forgotten the taste of fresh air. He stared up at the dwarf, who busied himself unlocking Bilbo's chains from the semi walls. Before the halfling could tend to his aching wrists, the dwarf hooked his restraints to another set of chains, pushing Bilbo forward roughly. The doors to the cemi creaked open, moonlight revealing two rows of bedraggled prisoners, all shuffling forward weakly. They were all too weak to protest, and when the dwarf produced a whip they picked up the pace, stumbling along fearfully. Dragged out by the others, Bilbo looked up to the night sky, wishing for morning. It seemed like forever since he'd seen daylight, or had a good smoke. Once his eyes adjusted, they fell upon a city street, flecked here and there with the dim glow of streetlights. Bilbo had never been to a city, only seen glimpses in books or magazines, and to tell the truth he'd never understood the appeal. Although, the metropolis he stood in now was quite different from what he had seen before. The majority of it's citizens were dwarves, intermingled were elves and humans, usually chained or on leashes. Most of them were in some state of undress, and Bilbo grew increasingly frightened as the dwarf pushed them along the crowded streets. A few of the people near them reached out, and Bilbo drew back as they leered at the prisoners. The dwarf leading them paid no mind to the disgusting advances of the townsfolk, and continued to trot them forward towards a large stand on the street corner. The dwarf made them climb onto it, prodding them with the end of his whip, as two others chained them to yet another wall. Bilbo could hear the dwarf shouting into the street, "new toys just captured, good prices and great finds!" A few dwarves moved out of the crowd to get a better look, and most of them headed towards the elves. One dwarf in particular was getting attention from the salesmen as he stalked down the row of helpless prisoners.

"What do you think, Thorin? Just in today," the salesman said. The dwarf, or rather Thorin, Bilbo supposed, raised an eyebrow.

"Sure you didn't just buy the already used goods off a trainer?" He said suspiciously.

The dwarf shook his head, feigning offense. Thorin walked past him, stopping in front of Bilbo. The hobbit avoided his gaze, but a hand came down and cupped his jaw, yanking Bilbo's face upwards.

"What about this one?" Thorin called, jerking the halfling's head from one side to the other. The salesman ran over eagerly.

"Ah! A fine choice, I guarantee you no one else will have a hobbit in their stock!" Thorin turned to the other dwarf.

"And what was he before you took him?"

"Always the gentleman Thorin, even in this business," the salesman laughed. "He was a burglar, I know how you detest buying the ones with reputable backgrounds."

Bilbo shouted protests through his gag, but the words came out muffled, and he quieted down at the sight of the vendor's hand reaching for a whip.

"Good." Muttered Thorin, and his fingers began digging into Bilbo's cheeks, prying the hobbit's mouth open. When Bilbo gave way, Thorin pushed his mouth open, and he let out a small cry as the dwarf stretched his jaws apart.

"His mouth opens fairly wide for such a small thing," Thorin muttered. All at once he removed his hand, and Bilbo's mouth slammed shut painfully. Thorin reached down to the halflings chest, and Bilbo couldn't pull back, the chains were too tight, so he stayed there, shivering under the unwanted touch. Thorin's hands moved slowly across his body, and the dwarf smiled every time Bilbo jerked away from his touch.

"Responsive." Thorin's hand slipped further down, and the hobbit gasped, choking a little on the gag as the dwarf grabbed him, giving a few experimental pulls. "Not much to work with here, but at least he's got a pretty face." Thorin's hand released it's grip, and Bilbo sighed his relief. Maybe now he would leave. But the dwarf reached even further back, fingers pushing roughly into Bilbo's ass. The halfling tensed, pulling against his chains in disbelief. Why was no one stopping him? Bilbo searched the crowd for a sympathetic face, but no one seemed to be paying any mind. Tears blurred his vision, and he looked up to the sky, willing them away when Thorin's hand grabbed his face, pulling it down so their eyes were locked. The dwarf grinned, and looked over at the salesman.

"I'll take this one."

Bilbo walked through the streets behind Thorin, his legs trembling as he tried to keep up with the dwarf's stride. They wound their way through the dimly lit city, and the hobbit tried his best to ignore the perverse scenery as he was dragged along, keeping his eyes on the dwarf. The two came out of a grungy back street and Thorin made his way towards a large gate, through which Bilbo could see the white bricks of a mansion. The gate opened before them, and the dwarf walked through, pulling Bilbo along. As they approached the door, the halfling grew fearful, and he used what was left of his strength to resist the pull of his chains. Thorin looked back at him, giving the chains a sharp pull as he swung the door open.


	2. Chapter 2

Perhaps if he was not being bodily dragged, Bilbo would have had time to admire the craftsmanship of the mansion, but trauma has a way of impeding your attention to detail. The only thing he caught was the sweeping lines of a grand staircase before he was pulled toward the front desk. Two more dwarves were stationed there, but they were thankfully much less intimidating than the rest of their kind, even with those dumbstruck expressions. Bilbo looked around in an attempt to figure out what exactly it was that had stupefied them, but found no answer.

"Fili! Kili!" Thorin called, "Why is it that every time I check on you two, you're doing nothing?"

Their faces fell simultaneously. The blonde spoke first.

"Uncle, we've been taking stock and setting up appointments all day."

Thorin frowned a bit at the defiance in his nephew's voice, but his disapproving comment was cut short as the other dwarf, presumably his other nephew, started to talk.

"Who, uh," he gestured awkwardly towards Bilbo. "Who's this?" The question was normal, but the dwarf's face looked like he was in some sort of shock. Thorin looked annoyed by the question. Dwarves certainly were sensitive.

"Gandalf stopped by earlier. He suggested I go check out the new shipment, he thought there was one in particular I might like. I can only assume he meant the hobbit."

"I thought you didn't buy public merchandise. You told us not to."

"I told you not to buy anything unless I'd looked it over. Gandalf knows my preferences, otherwise he never would have recommended me this one."

"So he's…"

"A burglar, the salesman assured me of that. Now if you're done being a pain in the ass, I need you two to take care of him." Thorin pointed down at Bilbo. "He needs food, rest, and most definitely a bath."

Food. Bilbo wanted to cry at the mere mention. He hadn't eaten anything real in days. Maybe this place wasn't so bad? It was probably a long shot, but hope was the only thing he had left. Perhaps they needed more workers for their perfectly harmless production business, something like shoemaking or knitting sweaters. Right?

-

Well, shoemaking was no longer a plausible guess. Bilbo didn't think that the cobbling business required any nudity. Tremors wracked his small frame as he clutched his legs to his body. Across the room, a door swung shut behind Fili and Kili, only to be opened again by their uncle. As Thorin stepped into the light Bilbo realized that he too was missing a few garments. He could feel his face heating up, and he pulled his legs closer to himself, feeling exposed.

"Get up, hobbit." Thorin ordered.

Bilbo wasn't sure his legs would work, and the shaking had become uncontrollable. He still remembered what had happened back when Thorin had… bought him.

Stalking over to the corner, Thorin loomed over the hobbit, leaning against a wall.

"Scared?"

Bilbo nodded, eyeing the dwarf angrily.

"No, I'm just peachy thanks."

Thorin raised an eyebrow. His hand reached to close around Bilbo's hair, and the hobbit was yanked from the corner roughly. Landing on his stomach, Bilbo let out a cry at the feeling of cold cement.

He could see Thorin's hands moving by his belt, and then his own were being bound together tightly with what felt like leather. Thorin yanked his arms up for better leverage, and Bilbo let out a cry of protest. It was ignored, and once the task was complete, the dwarf dropped him to the floor again.

You know, if they needed him for something, maybe this was not the best way to go about this. Bilbo decided to keep that thought to himself.

Thorin fumbled around in a pouch on his belt, finally pulling out a small bullet shaped pill. He glanced towards Bilbo.

"Stay still."

He had several witty retorts to that, all of which were silenced by Thorin walking up and putting whatever was in his hand somewhere it definitely should not be going. Bilbo wanted to scream, or puke, but he couldn't manage any noise, so all he could do was struggle weakly as Thorin's hands pushed the pill further.

Satisfied, the dwarf propped himself up against a wall, staring impatiently at the miserable creature before him. Bilbo waited for him to speak, but he just stared for what seemed like hours, and the hobbit began to feel strange. He looked up in question, and Thorin nodded curtly.

"That will be the drug. Eventually you won't need it, but until you're trained this is how it's going to be" Thorin grabbed the leather strap around Bilbo's wrists and pulled him into a sitting position.

Bilbo couldn't feel his hands anymore, the strap had cut off circulation, and his thoughts were jumbled and difficult to place. He could feel Thorin putting something in his mouth, prying his teeth apart like that night at the store, and he tried to bite down. Something hard stopped him, and Bilbo ran his tongue around the ring that was holding his mouth open.

When he'd gotten the gag in place, Thorin grabbed the hobbit's small hips and pulled them up until Bilbo's ass was in the air, face on the cold concrete of the cellar.

He tried to get up, or at the very least crawl away so he could cover himself, but to no avail. Bilbo had never been strong, and he was still recovering. Rough hands grabbed the leather that bound his wrists, and the hobbit stilled, closing his eyes against the touch. Thorin worked quickly, and in no time both of Bilbo's thighs were bound and linked by more leather to the strap around his wrists, spreading his legs wide.

Looking down, he realized with horror that he was getting hard, and Bilbo's strained to pull his thighs together. Just a few days ago he'd been too modest to leave his bathrobe open. Seeing that the drugs were taking effect, Thorin stood up.

"You are to be a toy. Once your training is complete you will be rented out and our customers will use you as they please. It is my job to make sure you understand your place."

Sold? Again? He'd already been sold once, and that was an experience that he'd not enjoy repeating. Bilbo tried not to think too hard about what customers would use him for, but he knew, and it made him sick.

Satisfied with the hobbit's silence, Thorin turned and with seemingly no warning put two of his fingers into Bilbo's mouth. That nausea rose up in his throat again, and he tried to breathe, steeling himself for what would inevitably follow. When Thorin's finger entered him Bilbo didn't move, made no noise, just ground his teeth down on the gag and waited for it to be over.

It didn't end. Instead, Thorin added another finger, and Bilbo's eyes began to water with the effort of holding in a scream. It hurt. When Thorin was done he wanted to cry with relief, until the dwarf walked around and stopped in front of him.

Bilbo shook his head violently. No, no he was done, there was no way- the dwarf reached for another piece of leather and Bilbo stopped. So that was the solution to disobedience, more restraints? Thorin stepped out of the rest of his clothing and towards the hobbit, bringing a hand around to keep his head still, and Bilbo's eyes grew wide as the dwarf pushed into his mouth. He recoiled at the bitter taste that covered his tongue, and Thorin's hand closed tighter around his hair as he struggled. The pain killed his resistance, and when Thorin's cock hit the back of his throat, he let out a series of coughs that shook his whole body. The hand in his hair loosened momentarily, waiting for Bilbo to compose himself, but as the hobbit choked, someone pounded on the door.

"Uncle..." Fili's voice came hesitantly through the entryway.

"Not now!"

"I need to talk to you, can you jus-"

Thorin pulled away from Bilbo, quickly pulling on the clothes he had abandoned and wrenched the door open angrily.

"What?"

His nephew flinched his tone of voice, but Thorin didn't seem to notice, and he propped himself up against the doorframe with an exasperated sigh.

"Gandalf wants to speak with you."

Another sigh.

"About what?"

He was Being awfully dramatic about this.

"The elves again."

In a matter of seconds Thorin's face went from irritated to infuriated, and he stood, crossing his arms.

"Gandalf knows I do not talk to cowards." He spat the words, and Fili looked down.

"He still seems to think that they can-"

"They did not offer us help when our home was taken Fili! If they wish to help now I will not accept." Thorin looked uneasily at Bilbo. "We should not be discussing such things around a toy."

The door slammed shut behind them, and Bilbo was left on his knees, bound, exposed and alone.

Within moments it was opened again, and Thorin's other nephew, Kili he thought, rushed towards Bilbo.

"Hi. Hope you haven't been in here too long, my uncle isn't very careful when he's in a bad mood." He chuckled to himself. "Which is most of the time, really."

The dwarf's smile, coupled with the concern in his voice was actually a bit frightening. Bilbo hadn't heard anything so genuine in days. The dwarf may seem trustworthy, but he'd have to be on his guard, just to be sure.

"Alright, lets get you taken care of, and then I'll take you back to the room."

Take care of him? Surely he didn't- Thorin had gone, which meant he was done. Maybe he was the replacement?

Kili moved around until he was behind Bilbo, and the hobbit struggled to get a look at what he was doing. Bilbo could hear shuffling noises, and as he closed his eyes Kili's hand yanks him up and into the dwarf's lap.

Now that he was upright, Bilbo was once again conscious of his complete lack of clothing, but his restraints would not allow him to cover himself. He felt dirty, used, and here he was with yet another dwarf, legs wide open. The tiny bit of trust that he'd just felt for Kili had morphed into betrayal and self-hatred. That train of thought was lost as Kili's hand traveled down to grab him and stroke.

Bilbo pulled at the leather that held his wrists, thrashing in protest, and Kili slowed his hand.

"Don't worry, I'm not looking. You need to know how to do this."

The dwarf sounded apologetic, and Bilbo stopped out of exhaustion. Small noises were escaping his mouth, and realizing this, he silenced himself, ashamed.

"Nobody else can hear you, it's fine." Kili murmured, reaching up to undo Bilbo's gag.

The dwarf's hand was moving faster now, and Bilbo was barely conscious of the noises he was making as Kili undid the rest of his restraints with a free hand. When he realized what had happened, Bilbo moved to escape, but Kili caught both of his wrists and brought his hands forward.

"You try. Just like I showed you."

Bilbo hesitated, unsure of what Kili meant.

"Here."

Kili wrapped one of his hands around Bilbo's, guiding him through the motions. He moved the hobbit's hand slowly, but Bilbo started moving faster, letting out little moans and pushing up into his fist. Leaning into the dwarf's shoulder, Bilbo arched his back, shuddering as he came. His hand fell to his side, and he realized belatedly that Kili had not touched him for a good while. Too tired to move, he collapsed in a heap against the dwarf's chest.

When he felt leather close around his neck, Bilbo's eyes snapped open.

"S'fine, it's just a collar. Not that you need one," he smiled, "you don't really fight back."

He could feel something press against his back, and Bilbo jumped up from Kili's lap, staring at him in panic. The dwarf simply blushed and got to his feet.

"Don't worry, I'm just going to take you back to the room, but Thorin always leaves the toys like this, so I help them out. Although," Kili said, "they're usually not this compliant."

Bilbo avoided his gaze, and before he could say anything in his defense, Kili pulled roughly on his collar.

"Lets go."

He looked up defiantly, jarred by the sudden change in behaviour, and Kili turned to smirk at him.

"Or we could continue..." He turned back and continued walking, and Bilbo followed obediently.

-

The 'training' continued for weeks, and each time Bilbo felt less, to the point where he was almost used to the feel of leather tight against his skin, the stretch and burn of Thorin's fingers in him. The less he felt, the more he hated himself for what he'd become.

The only thing that had changed was that Kili was never part of the training process. Bilbo supposed that he taught every new toy how to do- that - just once and then left.

In place of his usual restraints, Thorin had Bilbo on a leash today and was walking him back into the city for the first time since he'd been sold. On the way out he grabbed a piece of cloth off of the counter, mumbling something about free advertising. He threw it at Bilbo.

"If you don't want to be raped, cover yourself."  
If he didn't want to be- look who's talking. Bilbo did his best to clothe himself as they walked down the dimly lit street, but he could still feel people's eyes. A few dwarves leered at him from under a streetlamp and he averted his eyes, taking a few steps toward Thorin. As they turned the corner Bilbo narrowly avoided an elf, who was leashed and on his knees before a moaning dwarf, who was commanding him to 'suck harder'. Thorin pulled Bilbo past them and into a small shop. The owner greeted him with a cheerful 'hello!'

"Bofur," Thorin replied, "it's been some time."

"It has. It's rare to see you here, especially with a toy. What brings you?"

"I need something for this one." He gestured to Bilbo with a nod. "He's useless, been with us for two weeks and I still can't fit more than two fingers. I thought you could help"

Bilbo looked around the shop curiously, and then wished he hadn't. He knew what the things filling the shelves were for, he just- okay, what was that, and why did it need spikes?

The owner pulls something out from behind the counter and hands it to Thorin.

"Not surprising, just look at him, he's tiny. Here, this should help..." He waggled his eyebrows, "loosen him up."

Bilbo did not like the sound of that.

Turning before the hobbit could see what he held, Thorin led Bilbo to a small room in the back of the store, pulling the curtain shut swiftly. Before he could react, the dwarf had both of his wrists in one hand, and Thorin strapped them to the wall. The covering Thorin had given him slid to the ground to pool around Bilbo's feet.

"Stay still."

Not like he had a choice.

He can see Thorin pulling a small jar off a shelf, and a few seconds later something cold pressed against him, an all too familiar feeling. It seemed easier than before, but maybe he was just used to it. Thorin pulled away, wiping his hand on the cloth he'd given Bilbo.

Good, done. Well that was pointless, they could have done this back at the mansion. Thorin reaches for the jar again and Bilbo wondered why he ever lets himself think that it's over. He waits for the feeling he's now used to, but instead is met with something different, and much larger. Holding back the tears and biting his lip to keep quiet was something he'd become accustomed to, but this was too much, and Bilbo tried to pull away, yelling. A hand came down over his mouth.

"Be quiet."

Maybe if Thorin hadn't picked the biggest one in the shop it would be easier, but this- he felt the dwarf push it deeper, and Bilbo's vision started to blur from pain. It couldn't possibly be any longer. Thorin thrust his arm in front of the hobbit's face.

"Bite down on this."

Gladly, thought Bilbo, and he did his best to ruin Thorin's intricate vambraces. The distraction helped, but the pain was still bordering on unbearable. He screamed into Thorin's arm as the dwarf pulled the thing out, shivering as the pain faded into a dull ache.

"Bofur!" Thorin called, turning away from Bilbo.

Footsteps echoed across the shop, and Bofur pulled the curtain open. Bilbo tried to pull his hand free, reaching for the cloth.

"What can I get you?" Bofur asked.

"I need a vibrator in this size."

The owner cocked an eyebrow.

"Sure thing, just a second." He walked back over to the counter, leaving the curtain wide open. A few of the other customers peered in at Bilbo, and Thorin stepped in front of him, blocking their view. Bofur's head popped into view. "Here you go." He said, handing something else to Thorin.

Bilbo fell clumsily to the floor when his hands were released, scrambling to cover himself. The collar tightened around his neck and he looked up to Thorin impatiently tugging on his leash.

"Get up."

Did he ever say more than one sentence at a time? Pulling himself up off the ground, Bilbo clutched the fabric to his chest and followed silently. When they get to the counter, Bofur rings up the purchase and keeps it tucked under his arm.

"So, it's been awhile since I've seen you." He said, taking a step back as Thorin reached for the bag. "You're working too hard, Thorin." Bofur's face was one of genuine concern, and it puzzled Bilbo. How could a dwarf like this possibly have loyal friends?

"Leave it, Bofur. You know I need the money." Thorin muttered.

Yep, definitely undeserving of this friend, even if Bofur was the owner of a horrid shop.

"yes, I know, but getting back your home won't do any good if you kill yourself in the process." He laughed, handing Thorin the merchandise. "Take care."

Thorin gave his friend a halfhearted pat on the shoulder before turning to leave. Behind them, Bilbo heard Bofur cough.

"One more thing," he added, "Why'd you buy both?"

A smirk crawled across Thorin's lips.

"He'll have to learn to take both eventually." He said nonchalantly, pulling lightly on the leash.

BOTH? Bilbo scanned Thorin's face for any evidence that that was a joke, because it had to have been. There was no way, it wasn't physically possible. The scenery of the walk back blurred together as he followed Thorin, still hoping that he had heard wrong.

As the door opens before him, the first thing Bilbo sees is a pair of legs, clothed in a very familiar grey suit. Following them up, his legs nearly collapsed as he saw the man's face. Images flashed through his mind of that brief conversation outside bag-end. This man was the reason for everything that had happened to him! This man was also about three feet taller than him. Bilbo bit his lip to calm the anger as Thorin stepped towards the tall figure in front of them.

"Gandalf." He nodded.

"Mister Oakenshield," The man, or rather Gandalf, frowned. "We have something to discuss."

Thorin stepped to one side, pushing past the man's tall frame.

"It can wait."

Behind Gandalf stood Thorin's nephew's, and both of them looked like they were going to retch.

"No," Came a voice from the corner. Three huge men stepped out from the shadow of a statue, one of them holding up a piece of paper. "It really can't."


	3. Chapter 3

Bilbo drew back at the sight of the strangers, his eyes running over the tattered suits, each pulled tight over an alarming amount of muscle, then back up again to the sneers that ran across each face, exposing cracked and yellowed teeth. He shuddered. Beside him, Thorin stepped forward as if to speak, but one of the men cut him off.

"You see Thorin, we 'ave taken over this luvly place o' yors," said the one in front, presumably the leader. A voice rang out from the back of the room, where Gandalf waited.

"Not till tomorrow." He said darkly, eyes never leaving the floor.

Thorin looked stunned, an unreadably blank expression plastered onto his face. Bilbo wanted to be pleased, but the feeling didn't come, and he stared, waiting for the dwarf to speak.

Nothing.

After an inordinate amount of silence, Thorin turned to face the wizard.

"What are they talking about?" Gandalf looked down as if to choose his words, a wise decision around Thorin.

"Well you see, they've gotten ahold of the deed to the mansion."

"The deed?" Thorin sputtered angrily. "I agreed to nothing concerning this."

Looking down, the wizard moved to speak, but whatever he'd been about to say was cut off by the sound of frantic shuffling from the back corner of the room, where Fili and Kili had been standing in silence. Their voices fought over each other as the brothers spoke.

"I'm sorry uncle," said Kili, lowering his head. "It's my fau-" Fili stepped in front of his younger brother.

"No, I'm to blame. I left the counter unattended, the deed got stolen because of me."

Kili moved forward. "I should have put it in the safe"

"No i shouldn't have left the desk" His brother said, again pushing Kili behind him. The two turned to each other, bickering defensively until finally someone spoke up.

"THA'S ENOUGH!" The troll said, cracking his knuckles loudly. "We'll be back t'moro' to take wha's ours. Bert! Tom! We're leaving." With a sneer, he walked out the front doors, colleagues close behind him. When the door closed, Thorin turned accusingly towards Gandalf, demanding to be told everything. After about half an hour, everyone had been informed that the trolls, through some spot of luck, had gotten ahold of the deed, but the transfer of power would not be complete until sunrise. Furious, Thorin made a move to storm out of the room, but he must have neglected to notice Bilbo, because when he stepped forward, the chain between them pulled tight on the hobbit's neck. Surprised, the dwarf handed the chain to Fili.

"Back to his room."

When his nephew returned, Thorin was talking to Gandalf, voice raised. The wizard stood waiting as he spoke.

"I will not stand down as everything I have built is taken from me! Without this, Erebor is lost. You know that. " The wizard nodded.

"Perhaps if that was not the original deed we would have a chance, but-"

"But it isn't!" Kili shouted, looking pleased with himself. Thorin shot him a look, and he collected himself. "It's... a copy of Thrain's original."

Taking a puff of pipeweed, Gandalf sighed. "As long as we have the original, they can do nothing. Now, where is it?" Around him, each pair of eyes he met fell towards the floor. Except Thorin, who looked up at him indignantly.

"And how should I know, I was under the impression-" He stopped to glance over at his nephews. "that my property would be safe."

Within seconds, the wizard's presence seemed to encompass the whole room, and he glowered down at Thorin. "YOU FOOL! Did it not occur to you that you might have need of it?"

The room fell to silence, every eye downcast as the finality of their situation sank in. Kili rushed forward, and his brother grabbed his shoulder, but that didn't stop him from yelling out.

"They can't do this!" Fili moved to stand beside his brother."They can't do this!" Fili moved to stand beside his brother.

"We need to fight back! We've nothing left to lose, lets show them that we won't go down without a fight."

"We could barricade the door!" Kili said, his voice rising alongside Fili's. His brother beamed up at him.

"Or challenge them to a fight!" Fili slammed his fist down on the counter.

Rushing forward and almost tripping over himself, Kili moved towards his uncle "I could take them down blindfolded!"

Thorin gave him a withering look. A hand tugged on Kili's sleeve, pulling him back towards his brother. Everyone waited for Thorin to speak, but there was nothing till Gandalf broke the silence.

"Well, it seems that you have..." he glanced at the brothers "all the help you need. I will go see if there is anything that can be done."

When the doors slammed behind the wizard, Thorin turned on his nephews.

"Go."

"But Thorin, we just-"

"LEAVE ME!"

Again, Fili grabbed at the hem of his brother's sleeve and pulled him out of the parlor.

Thorin paced the empty floor uneasily. He knew very well that everything he owned was on the line, and if it was taken away... but it wouldn't be. And even if those trolls managed to take from him what was his, they wouldn't get what they wanted. They came to steal his merchandise, so he would let the merchandise free. Of course, then the operation would be exposed, but he was already ruined, and this seemed the only way to put up a fight. And fight he would.

The door opened slowly, but even the tiniest creak of hinges in the silence was enough to make Bilbo jump. When he saw Thorin, he wanted to ask, wanted to know what happened. When he saw Thorin's expression, he shut his mouth. Without a word, Bilbo followed the dwarf into the parlor, shrinking back at what they found there. He saw many of the elves that had been on the truck with him, and there were ten dwarves standing next to Fili and Kili, all of them looking around eagerly. Bilbo could feel his skin begin to crawl. These were customers. Moving back behind Thorin, he waited for one of them to speak, to offer a price. One stepped forward, and Bilbo recognized the shop owner from last week. The dwarf bowed.

"At your service."

One by one they stepped forward, each bowing and offering his own 'at your service'. Thorin's lips curled up softly, but his eyes were downcast.

"It will do no good. Daybreak is mere hours away."

"But what of Erebor?" Asked Fili.

"I am sorry." Was all the response Thorin gave, and the the doors swung open.

"We're 'ere ter collect our property." Boomed one of the men, striding across the parlor floor.

Bilbo watched as Thorin faced the man, and wondered if the dwarf was at all aware of his stature. To any other, the scene would have looked utterly ridiculous. Even at his height, Thorin still somehow managed to look down on everyone around him, in a way that commanded respect, if not admiration.

"I see no sun, and you are trespassing on my property." He spat.

"Well," The man said, "seein' as it'll be mine soon enuff, 'ows abou' ya lemme sample some a' yer product?" His face contorted into a sort of smile; cracked pallid lips stretched too wide over his mouth as he reached for the hobbit cowering behind Thorin.

Bilbo was caught off guard by the force of the blow; of course he'd known Thorin was strong, but he'd never hit him that hard. The hobbit looked up from his new position across the room. The two were inches away from each other now, speaking quietly.

"He is not yours yet. You would do well to remember that."

"Well 'e will be soon" But he backed off, leaving Thorin to turn on Bilbo.

The hobbit would not be moved, and Thorin did not try, just left him with his thoughts. Bad idea. As the minutes ticked by he wondered, and stared at the men who were to be his new... new owners. Hard as it was for him here, he knew that if they owned him it would get worse. And when a hand reached out and fastened itself around his wrist, he yelped. Thorin was struggling to free himself from the grip of the other two men, but the more he tried, the more apparent it became that he would not.

Bilbo saw a few of the dwarves on the sidelines lurch forward in defense, but a look from Thorin stopped them in their tracks. He could hear shouting as the man dragged him towards a back room. It was coming from Thorin. Within seconds, the situation went from surreal, almost slow motion to terrifyingly real and moving all too fast.

Yanking his hand away, Bilbo shouted "You can't!"

Probably not the most solid argument, but the man seemed amused.

"An' why's tha'?" He asked, backing the hobbit into a wall.

Bilbo hadn't been expecting that.

"Ummm..."

"G'on then, tell 'im" Chuckled another. Bilbo turned to see the voice's owner, who was still holding Thorin at bay.

"I've got..." The hand reached out for his wrist. "I'VE GOT CRABS!" He shouted, voicing the thought before he had time to process it. The man drew back, confused.

"No you don't!" Kili cut in, "How dare you slander my uncle's good na-"

His brother yanked him away before Kili could do any more damage. Once they were behind the counter, Fili whispered something in his ear, and Bilbo watched the young dwarf's eyes grow wide. He ran back out.

"He's got crabs! They all do!" A few of the dwarves nodded in agreement, and Kili continued "They're as big as my arm!"

The room went suddenly silent, the only sound was the clap of Fili's palm against his forehead, and a barely discernable- "Nadad, do you even know what crabs are?"

Thorin sighed loudly, and the man holding him broke the tension. "'e's lyin Bill. Don' listen to 'im."

"So you was tryin' tah trick me, were ya?" Bill said, making another grab at Bilbo's wrist. "You're gonna be punished fer tha'" His cohorts laughed. Thorin roared.

And Bilbo's stomach dropped as the light streamed in through the door. Until he heard a familiar voice.

"Now gentlemen, if you would kindly remove yourselves from mister Oakenshield's property, no one will be injured."

"I's no' 'is property anymore."

"I'm afraid," Gandalf pulled out a slip of paper, "that it is. And if you do not leave, well, I am sure I can find a policeman or two who would be happy to drag you out of here."

He handed Thorin the deed. "I had some of your father's old things locked away. You are fortunate the deed was among them." The dwarf gave him a wary look, wondering why Gandalf had his own stash of what was rightfully his. It seemed as if everyone was stealing from him.

"Hah!" Bill laughed, "Bring the police 'ere? They'd take the lot of us, you included, miss'r Oakenshield." He executed a clumsy curtsy.

Thorin pulled himself out of the hands that held him and stepped forward. "The police in this area have been... convinced, to pass over this operation. I will report you unless you have something useful to offer."

Bill shifted uneasily. "Fine, I've got summat you can 'ave. Bert! Tom! Go get the chest. "

Half an hour later the two returned, burdened by a huge chest which they dropped unceremoniously at Thorin's feet. The dwarf nodded curtly.

"Set foot in my house again, and the police will be here for an entirely different reason."

When the men had left, and the contents of the chest had been strewn all over the floor, the fact that Bilbo was still present had been all but forgotten. Each dwarf was busy poring through what gold and trinkets they could grab, so no one noticed the hobbit as he snuck to the edge of the pile. Bilbo had just enough courage to close his eyes and grab one item before dashing to the back of the room again.

Later, after the excitement died down, Kili took him back to his room, and he opened his hand. Great, a letter opener. _Well_, he sighed, _at least it's sharp_.


End file.
